Great Minds Think Alike

I'd be remiss to say that I've been just a little down since yesterday afternoon.  I drove the twenty minutes from the airport back to my hotel in silence.  I've talked about how hard it is to say my goodbyes, and I've just said my last one in person that I have to make.  A part of me is relieved that I'm done with it.  I've only had to say goodbyes to Heidi four times now.  It's gotten rather old doing so.  Each time it's gotten a little harder.

I'm thankful that I have a wife that understands me the way she does.  Over the course of the weekend it came up in conversation that I was not going home on "block leave."  For those of you who do not know what that is, it's the amount of time that we are allowed prior to deploying overseas.  I was not going to volunteer the information to Heidi that I was voluntarily choosing to not take any block leave to go home one last time.  I figured that she would assume that if I had the opportunity to come home that I'd be there in a heartbeat.  I figured she'd be upset with me for not wanting to come home.  When she found out about it, she understood without having to ask why I'd made the decision that I had made.  She knew that I am ready to go.  My bags are packed, I've said my goodbyes, and I'm just ready to get there to get the clock started.

I don't fully understand my own rationale sometimes.  Why on earth would I not want to see my little ones one last time while I have the opportunity.  Why wouldn't I want to sleep in my own bed, with my own pillow, one last time.  (I'm assuming that I still have the same pillow, that is unless someone stole it....AGAIN!)  Why wouldn't I want to spend time with those that I love.  I cannot describe it with words other than to simply say that I am mentally prepared to deploy again and I can't change that.  The next airplane I get on is the one taking me to the other side of the world.

Riding in silence yesterday, and sitting in my quiet hotel room yesterday and today has afforded me the opportunity to reflect on how blessed I am being allowed the time I have with those that I have.  I know that if you'd ask her Heidi would say she's the fortunate one, or the lucky one, or whatever else, for being married to me.  I'm not quite sure I agree with her on that one.  She definitely puts up with more than I realize.  She makes more sacrifices than I care to admit.  She carries more of a burden than any husband should put on his wife.  She wouldn't tell anybody any of that, but it's true.

I sat down today to compile my thoughts into some fashion that is this blog.  I decided to check Heidi's blog before doing so.  The words and actions of my wife never cease to humble me.  She always seems to put me back in my place and to refocus my priorities.  I always kick myself for taking so long to realize how truly fortunate and blessed I am for having Heidi.  I am definitely a better man for having Heidi as my wife.

You say you just miss me...I know how you feel.

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I cannot remember if I've plugged Heidi's blog.  For her side of the story check out musings.